It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
