We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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