I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
