I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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