Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
