I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
