I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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