I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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