Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
