he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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