Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
