i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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