why didn't you poke me back
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
