No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
