This is the prime rib incident all over again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
