he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
In America we eat man semen.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
