A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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