when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
