chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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