Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
