I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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