I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
