a queef is a wish your heart makes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
