it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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