he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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