handjob tips. give me some.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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