you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I understand Curling. That high.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
