Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
