one two three fourrrrnication!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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