4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
