Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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