so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
