i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
