i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
