I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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