"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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