Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
