According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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