omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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