Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
