PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am midnight drunk by noon
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
