"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
