Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I deserve this hangover.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
