I could make wine with my vomit
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
