i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
