it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
