Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
