So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
