If i come over, it means nothing
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
