Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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