you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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